• My Hallmark Moment

    1998: Middle-aged Love

    Once despairing of loves existence
    I embraced solitude with forlorn persistence.
    But you banished that sadness in me;
    Drew back the curtain that I might see.

    Your smile evoked a peaceful bliss…..
    Morning light through an ethereal mist.
    You are the joy that a found child brings.
    Lost; now found, my heart just sings!

    Your are the garden of my soul
    Where joy surrounds, where delight unfolds,
    Where prism hues in dazzling arrays
    Grace fragrant nights and sun-drenched days.

  • More!

    I glanced you captured there inside your glare;
    your mouth drawn tight, a knurled apple agape,
    with silent shrieks more shrill than one could bear.
    My God! No touch or words or meds could sate
    your frantic mind; unlock, release the glut
    of images that only you could see.
    You spoke a dialogue…narrating, but
    all vague; so jumbled up…a horrid clutch…
    and then… I feared you lost for evermore.
    Your eyes were dead but you pulled near to me
    and grasp my arm and paused to question, “More?”
    For an instant your eyes they lived, begged me
    to understand your plea and I responded, “More!”
    Our silly game remembered, “I love you!”
    Then the other responds, “I love you, more!”
    ………ad infinitum

  • Packing Your Bag

    You’re a ten digit pin# now
    allowed three changes of clothes
    nothing with strings. Do bra straps count?
    Your clothes and mine
    separate now
    hang and lie
    suddenly
    dingy and mute.
    Now removed for your safety
    protected
    not from me but from yourself
    I have no choices to make
    but your wardrobe.
    You never see it coming
    until you must crucify yourself
    create a display and hope someone
    can remove spikes and treat wounds.
    Each time you’re broken apart
    reassembled by chemical agents
    restitched without patterns
    and
    always there are left over bits
    flotsam puffed away, out of sight
    like lint in a dryer vent
    your color, your fabric left diminished.

  • Mourning Dove

    In grass beneath the ravaged feeder,

    accepting rejected seed dropped

    or flung away by purple finch,

    the pair bob thanks that go unseen

    except by me.

     

    Sated, they ascend

    to birdbath rim, meekly chanting,

    seeking permission few could deny.

    In monkish semblance they drink.

    Again, sated…

     

    they lift with

    white-tipped, feather robes trailing

    to sing in calls we’ve name mourning

    but which can only be joyous coos

    of gratitude.

     

    What watcher first

    saw the dove as symbol of peace

    of hope, of love, of a risen god?

    I’ve lived a lifetime and only now

    I ask this question?

  • The Portal

    buddleias 013

    My friend laments her passing years

    As lost, as nothing now.  But wait,

    Dear one, I disagreed, they’re there;

    Just out of sight and sound, secured,

    Waiting behind memories door.

    You probably walked past them this morning

    Admiring your gardens offerings.  Your cheek

    Just graced their hiding place as you sniffed,

    Then snapped malingering blooms.  They’re there,

    Passed buddleias purple cones, above

    Rudbeckias stylized suns, behind

    Hollyhocks rust/blotched leaves.

    Don’t be afraid; slip your slender hand

    Up to your thin, white wrist into the mass

    And turn like a key.

  • “Et tu, Brute?”

    I read his obit today; the who

    what where when but not the how.

    I had missed him, felt his absence

    But put it down to his capriciousness.

    Last week, his body, such as it was,

    Was found, fittingly, behind the file

    Marked “Lost and Found”

    Beside the head librarian’s desk;

    A feeble attempt at humor, as was,

    The hand-lettered sign strung round

    His neck by string, naming him….Muse.

    Cause of his passing was indeterminable

    Due to the condition of the form.

    I suspect years of abuse at the hands

    Of the likes of me and the laureates.

    No charges were filed:

    There was too little evidence

    Or too many possible suspects;

    It was all unclear. The case is closed.

    Plans for internment will be announced

    When a proper eulogy can be obtained.

  • Deadheading

    deadheading 013 

    I wait too long, dreading the pinching of the bloom;

    the trashing of faded glory limply browning.

    Rampant roses prick my intent with minute thorns

    for severing when scent sings sweetest.

    Now, flaccid sheaths, daylily blooms bleed

    pomegranate/pink flora blood on my fingers

    as I grasp to snap them from their kin.

    Remove the old and the new will flourish;

    we say over and over; true, or only a mantra

    we chant to appeased our aversions to what

    we see as the useless weak and unsightly?

    After the pinch I let them lie at their makers feet

    to sing in final sweetness of summation;

    to remain and bask and seep back to the whole.

  • Free Will

    This is where I hang: exposed to dry air;

    Filleted in equal pink pieces to parch

    In low, fly/buzzed humidity, to shrink

    to the leathery truth.  Deprived of the

    justification gene, I can make no

    excuse; can’t blame father, mother, a god

    or circumstance or fate.  Am I so blessed or cursed?

  • Dying in the Woods

    The time will come

    when I will walk away:

    a farewell tour escaping bed-

    ridden incarceration

    before the doped dozing;

    the un-tethering.

    I will limp among the pines

    scenting their needles

    and remembrance’s lust,

    which will only soften,

    make more palatable,

    my final meal of leaves

    and tiny creatures;

    my final savorings

    plucked from ample offerings

    .

  • farm books

     

     They were the first books from memories’ beginnings;

    even the Bible Storybook followed after.

    A sentimental claim could have saved them, ensured

    their survival from crazy mother fire she flung

    to send her gelatinous demons home to Hell

    from the closet shared with the stacked, forgotten books.

    With them flamed up my pre-school doodles penciled on

    endpapers.  The text pages, slick as ice, rebuffed

    pencil’s reticent lead, while end sheets craved caress.

    Too pristine; stiff covers of muted blues and grays,

    greens, even reds; inside: over-exposed pictures

    of breeds of hogs, cattle, fowl…crop rotation charts

    that, I would swear, were never glimpsed before my eyes.

    We never talked of books or little else; always

    at work even when sick (coming home pale to fall,

    “burning-up” to his hard bed).  He would never read

    his “farm books” bought by Uncle Sam as his reward

    for surviving battlefields in France, Belgium;

    in tiny towns…only words… he struggled to say.

    What was an Alabama boy who barely read

    to do, but wed the pretty girl waiting back home,

    and care for cotton, corn, durocs, chickens and kids?

    Tenant farming fail through.  Mother still talks of wind

    blowing bitter cold up through floorboard cracks and the

    silent rat snake, “This long!” falling from the attic’s

    dark scary hole to hit the kitchen floor, plop!

    beside her as she churned butter for our cornbread.

    (Only Sunday she had prayed for just an onion

    to eat with beans and the last of the “side meat.”)

    Poor snake, more startled than she, died a riving death

    by her cotton chopping hoe, twisting till sunset.

    Daddy, too gentle, kind…always the provider,

    “too good for his own good”, delivered milk or bread

    or pumped gas always smiling the rest of his life;

    accepting grueling hours like penitence…for what?

    The books?

    Still I summon the scent and feel of their dated

    knowledge and hope gone stale.  I remember, it was

    mother’s suggestion, her offering to me, to draw

    in Daddy’s books.