For weeks they came daily; grackles and vultures swarming in plagues and kettles descending to take, devour claimed food. A scold of jays bitching from leafless trees did nothing to deflect or deter the feedings.
Now they are gone; the migrant portions of their species; the uneasy, the unsettled, the searchers. For days by my windows I stood entranced, aching to leave, to gorge; imploring them to take me along to soar.
Soybean rows paved the fields in tan shades heralding by their dryness a nearing harvest; a crop, a cycle, a promise of a fulfillment. Lean, overalled, old man paces his fields; squatting, testing multiple plants’ readiness. A taciturn self can’t hide the bliss of Harvest.
A seventeen-year-old boy has harvested, with, according to companions, “extreme happiness,” a young, rare albino antelope. Ask about the hunt, the harvester said, “I‘m was so happy! I couldn’t git a breath!” Culls blood runs thick-red over white hair.
“News! Breaking news! News just for you! An illicit harvesting may have just occurred! Apparently, the Harvester did not issue any notifications prior to this culling and states his intent was ‘totally eradicate, not mere persecution, of those sordid, ethic beast!’”.
The old man saw her the moment he pulled into the the convenience store parking lot at the four-way stop; by the dumpster; a frail, hollowed creature hardly able to stand. “Fuck!” He made his way inside trying not to glance at her again. He decided on a twelve pack instead of six and a liter of Sweet Red and slowly with practiced care made his way back to the car. He wasn’t going to look but he did. “Fuck fuck”! She was lying by the dumpster now, still in the hot sun, struggling to raise her head. He bumped his forehead against the steering wheel, really too hard, trying to activate some sense which was he knew not going to happen.
Again, slowly, he left the car and opened the rear passenger door. Leaving it open he made his way to the dumpster talking dog talk. The old dog seemed aware of his intentions and stilled her head on the ground obviously hoping for good, but ready, he could see it in her eyes, to accept whatever. She was blackish, short-haired with mangy spots and gruesomely starved. The old man grunted in pain as he tried to lift the now limp fur-bag of dangling bones. She whimpered a bit as he managed to lift her. Making it up with a jerk but still hunched over, the dogs shameful light weight pulled him forward and downward as he stumbled toward the open car door. But the four-way stop and some dumbass, forever unknown, intervened; blaring horns and a loud crash of metal caused him to jerk his head up, offsetting his balance. Knowing what was coming, with all he had, he tried to twist his body around as he fell, to protect her.
When he hit, the back of his head bounced twice against the hot asphalt. The dog, though trembling, was still in his arms and he knew they had survived, for the moment. The raucous in the streets fell to silence. Everything did. There was nothing but the feel of his clutched bundle; the touch sense was strangely familiar, soothing, like a reoccurring dream; one he did not want to abandon. Gradually, sound seeped back, and it was the running, gurgling of creek water. Singing Creek ran as always washing, polishing its precious stones formed over millenniums. The cold water sliding over his feet, as he carefully tested with his toes the slickness of each stepping stone, soothed him. Beth was there, too, but not being so careful. She was doing more of a stumbling dance, skinny arms flying about mimicking what he did not know. She seemed distracted by the cute kid with his assumed dad across the creek on the falls viewing platform. “Careful Honey. It will get slicker the further we go. Do you know that boy?
"A little.”
“Is a little enough?”
“Jeeze! dad!”she scolded him with her 11-year-old mind your own damn business face.
“I love you too!” he smiled.
They reached the huge boulders that formed the lip of the falls. The actual falling part was a narrow surge in the center and dropped maybe six feet during wet season. They had walked the trail to the north bank. From that side the boulders sloped down to creek level and were less smooth and polished, even jagged in spots with only enough water trickling over them to keep them slick. Beth, a resolute non-swimmer avoided the center, and continued her unscripted, flirting dance. He knew he should warn her again, but he had really never seen her so out of herself. He hardly recognized his daughter, normally so quiet, meek, even sullen at times. Of course, it only took one tiny, slimy slick of Diatoms to create havoc. Beth, her arms shooting straight up, gasped, but he was close enough to grab her and they fell together onto the sloping, sculpted granite. He managed to land on his back. A snaggy protrusion tore into his left shoulder, stealing his breath. Beth was immediately fighting his tight grip, struggling for release. “What are you doing?” she screamed. He couldn’t find air to ask if she was ok, but he released her squirming body, and she did an immediate crawling run to the bank. Still on his back, his eyes followed her struggling escape and he saw blood on her knees and saw her calling to him, again with a scolding face, but the sounds were a blasphemous cacophony foreign to the quiet, reverent creek.
Horn blares bashed the old man’s head while his eyes squinted against the harsh sun. The dog, still in his clutch, was quiet. He rolled to look at his car only a few feet away. No one was around them. Releasing his grip, he slid the dog to the pavement and grunted his way to his knees and then to his feet. Grasping the dogs rear feet, whose eyes were still open and darting with awareness, he dragged her to the opened door without resistance. With one stooping movement and another stuttering grunt, he grasped the dog; half lifting, half dragging, heaving her into the seat. Sirens screamed in their approach. The only unblocked exit from the store was south and he quickly took it before it too was blocked. Half a mile south and he turned left starting a swing north towards the vet clinic.
When he reached for the lease hanging by the door Old Dog was immediately there; her untrimmed nails keeping time to her clumsy-jumpy dance on the hardwood floor. His phone rang. “Shit!” It was Beth who he hadn’t actually seen in over three years. He plopped back down into his chair. Old Dog, disappointed, lay her gray muzzle on his knee. “Hey Honey, how you doing? I thought you died.”
“Not yet. We ‘re still apartment bound. We even get our groceries delivered and we are doing the HelloFresh meals thing. We haven’t been out in maybe three weeks. It’s still terrible down here, so many cases and they are redoing the apartments landscaping so there is noise constantly. It’s hard to get any work done.”
“IT nerds have a rough life don’t they?”
“Ha ha! How are you doing? Bob told me you fell trying get a dog or something. You’re eighty…eighty something, now? You need to be more careful.”
“That was months ago and no big deal. I’ve got a new best friend I have to take out dancing all the time.”
“Dancing! You?”
“It is a metaphor, honey.”
“Oh, one of them thangs.”
Old dog’s eyes lit up at the ensuing silence.
“You two need to get out. Move back to the mountains. Come and see me. OK?”
“Maybe someday.”
Another silence.
“Some ones knocking at the door and the dog has got to go out and pee.”
“I’ll let you go. My emails going crazy, anyway. Love you!”
“Love you, too!”
Sorry I told a lie in front of you. Maybe, you do have to pee. Hey, let’s drive down to the lake. I know this cool creek that flows over a small falls and into the lake. I haven’t been there in probably forty-something years. I want to see if is as I remember or if my mind is playing with me. We can walk to it if we take it slow. We have water bottles in the car. Want to go?
Old Dog did her butt wiggling, nail tapping dance in the affirmative. The old man’s mind was on the fall. He wondered if Beth remembered the fall at the falls. Surely she would; he knew she was just like him, never forgetting or letting go of a moment like that. Why had she stomped off up the trail leaving him in her wake of anger? Embarrassment in front of the kid across the creek? Could it be that simple? He knew he would never know because he would never ask, and she would never tell.
with the flow’s blasting bellow of life heard only
mutely by us, whispering under our constant din
of rants, proclamations and squeals of whiny ills.
As the river scrounges, ravishing, stealing
fish cavern walls from beneath its own banks
that hinder the flow it knows no purpose only
the god of movement’s flood. Stopping is death.
The mother oak by strength and massive reach
commands her hill only by chance and entrée
by tenacious grasp of Gaia’s breast sucking
the flow of mother’s milk. Her mammoth face
in breeze sings praise. The flow, not by beat,
but by constancy plays the melody of her song.
This is a slightly revised version of a poem originally posted in October 2012. I am slowly adding photos to each old post and, in a sense, reliving past memories and experiences; some sweet, some not so much.
Drenching us in golden sheets of birthing scents
Gaia rustles us awake, aware to lift our heads
and sniff her tactile sky of soothing intoxicates.
We close our smiling eyes, caressing the moment.
Kakia too does lift her nose to sniff, but fearing
being seen, quickly jerks her head away to hide
that twinge of delight she so distains and denies;
her repressed smile contorts her face in pain.
But Gaia sees all; even those flickers of Hope on
Kakia's face and ours before we try to cast them aside;
to be buried in our vaults of need and greed.
All allures could not blanch todays golden sheets.
I Love Dirt! Even when poor, bland, dusty gray, malnourished with no visible creatures crawling, it is striving, maneuvering, clawing for sustenance which we humanoids doltishly claim---and destroy as ours in our ignorance of life's cycles and needs.
Dirt life will survive. Microbes are the living flow with an innate Atlas persistence stronger than ours, a will to live, to build by devouring---then sharing a bite here, a bite there, yielding a crunch to savor for them and for us; a taste of hope on craving lips.
A persistence of billions of living, moving lives flow unseen by our minds and eyes, self-duped to cherish only ourselves, not Archaea, Bacteria, Fungi, Virus, Protists or any of those "creepy nasty things" which are our true Creators, Sustainers and only Hope.
Redbird on waxleaf privet branch calls
as he has a billion times past; enticing.
Cheer--cheer--cheer--pretty--pretty
we mimic, but what is he really saying;
mere yakking, indoctrination, concert
or berating, teasing, making fun of me
as I sit in my closed windowed-box
feeling belittled for my lack of a song?
Swaying leaves, twitching penumbra,
cast by light through my window, dance
upon my dull blue wall to an ancient
choral refrain. Even leaf-light has a song!
What is my song? I don't know the words,
the rhythm, the rhyme, the point of worth.
Was the first song a mere utterance of awe;
wonderment in the presence of sunlight.
"Ah! Ah!" will be my song! I sing to the leaves
and they freeze for just an instant to listen.
Then, crackling into brilliant light slivers,
they resume their own soft, dancing song.
I saw an eagle today; not on the nest web-cam
I check daily now, but soaring an invisible draft,
circling our neighborhood, rising, tipping down,
gliding to a near red oak limb revealing in glinting
light unique white “bald” head, tail and demeanor.
With apt aplomb he dismissed two raucous crow's
rantings as they stomped and strutted near limbs.
Three swipes of his yellow, hooked beak against
his supporting limb and the cursing duo quickly
took note, lifting, darting west “as the crow flies”
leaving only me and Fuzz to stare; bear witness.
Ditch-stink charmed Fuzz; I was in awe alone.
Did eagle give me a nod as he glanced my way,
arching huge wings for a forward, lifting jump,
fanning white, tail-feathers in silent ascension?
It seemed to me, there was a mutual greeting;
respect hoped for, valued, but not demanded.
I would have given a salute if I did such things.
We have hope; faith in ultimate good we clutch
as a faultless anthem, sang softly, only in sky.
afterstanza:
Now, another year has flown passed that red oak
and I still check out that empty January grey limb.
Awe has waned, Fuzz limps and a question remains,
only now acknowledged, a yellow beak ripping me:
Are there really only Predators and Prey and which....
Forty-odd years, a smidge of time to fungi;
its hidden place and past just now revealed:
a gentle sinking of soil, a couple feet across,
and just overnight a magical cluster has risen.
From the depression, Armillaria tabescens
ascends in pale ochres and soft red-browns,
honey mushrooms, to seek and tease light,
and us, for two or three days at most before
melting back to a bioluminescence world
and the long forgotten, nourishing stump
devoured and reincarnated in their galaxy
of patient life and humming green light.