Memories do blanch, change, slip to nonexistence but one still remains clear as a straight razor edge. 1953 probably. 1st grade, small wood, rural rental with an old outhouse...but we had running water!
At my new school we had "duck and cover" drills and every Sunday service the preacher screamed at me words directly from God; if deemed an unbeliever, I would endure forever a lake of fire and brimstone.
My dreams of fire came at night way before I slept. I knew my small bed and handmake quilts offered no protection, only a sweaty taste of fire to come as I clutched them in fear tightly around my neck.
One way or the other, I was destined to be burned, by The Bomb or by my inability to accept gods will; to be a red seething char as those in our coal stove, only screaming with all the others in our agony.
I am no longer six. I am 76. Accepting the inevitable is a process accomplished by most; a natural process, not taught in schools. I went to a funeral home today and purchased a prepaid cremation plan. Hello, Fire!